the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
