How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
