She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
