even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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