big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
