shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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