Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?

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(847): View more from Illinois

Hannah Montana > iCarly

(309): View more from Illinois

I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely

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(516): View more from New York

and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?

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(406): View more from Montana

she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I just found my coat check number in my underwear.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.

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