I wanna passion pit in your ass
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
