I'm drive I can fine osifer
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
there was a trapeze. enough said
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
