i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
