home. puking in laundry basket.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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