Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize