All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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