i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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