I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
