i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize
