the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
