okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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