It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
