No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
