he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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