She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
