all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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