you win again, gameday.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
