i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
