We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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