How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
