Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
