I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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