Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
