I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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