so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
