i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize