Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
What a dumb baby whore.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
