So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
