time to smoke my breakfast
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize