if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
