is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My Sexting was not on an AP level
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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