you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
