How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
he high fived his dick after we had sex
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize