I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
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