He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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