so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
