wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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