Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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