the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize