careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
