we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
