Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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