I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
