Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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