I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
