Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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