we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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