So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
