We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
