I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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