Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize