She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
