I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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