So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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