At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
