she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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