Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
