So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
