At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
