I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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