Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
